Friday, February 27, 2015

Let Your Freak Flag Fly


          I have not written a blog in what seems like forever. And its not because I am forgetful or do not wish to write. Its because I simply don't. I have the opportunity, the inspiration, and I say no. Why do I do that? Why do I withhold the inspiration that Jesus has blessed me with? Over the past year and leading up to today have been blessed with beautiful, and at times painful, revelations from my Jesus. HE has shown me groundbreaking pictures of how he views he children, how he views me. In these intimate times with the Lord where I have been able to encounter his true essence he explained something to me. Jesus is not a God of rules. In fact, he is quite rebellious. He is WILD. According to the Pharisees, he was a lunatic, a crazy man. And yet, he has this passion, this life, that is so contagious and full, that multitudes of people would come to him and still are. And here is the fun part, that he was so generous to explain to me. I carry that same wild spirit. Laughing at opposition, not because I am better or arrogant in my view, but because I know my end goal is to be more like Christ, to do my fathers work. And if that means I look like a fool, so be it. And he showed something to me. At some point, I lost my childlike trust and joy, and I sunk into a hole of self worth and restraint. I truly felt as if I could not be my self when I worshiped, when I prayed. Whether that was in church or even in the comfort of my own home when it was just Jesus and I (of all people I could be myself with, right?!). I had a firm grip on myself, and was scared to let everything out that I could feel steeping within me.

         Here's the thing though, those passions that were steeping in me are not bad things, they are part of who I am! I was withholding so much of myself all out of fear of being different, or being misunderstood, and I was totally forgetting the God I serve and who he has called me to be. The best part, though, is that we serve a relentless God that will pursue us no matter what we wont let go of. No matter how hard we hold onto a mindset or set of rules, he will still be present, urging me to let him in so he can let me out. The moment I caught on to this, that he is always going to want me, always going to love me, always going to be placing this burning passion inside of me that I can never deny, I was filled with such a burning joy and overwhelming amount of praise for my God and holy spirit. Because they don't care if I dance my heart out during worship, if I speak differently than my peers, if my eyes get intense because I'm excited about what i'm speaking about. In fact, they urge me on, saying “Precious child, withhold nothing! Because I have given you everything! So do not walk out of fear but out of boldness, because that is your calling.” 

         You guys, we don't have to withhold who we are!! We should walk in confidence with who we are in Jesus, because if we don't, we are denying who we truly are. We do not have to walk in fear, or worry about the outcomes or the way people will judge our motives. We just have to receive!! Receive Jesus, receive holy spirit, receive the freedom that comes with walking in step with the truth of who you are in Christ. Let our hearts catch on fire and burn with passion for the calling that the Lord places in our lives. That may look different for you than me. I have this drive to be different than the world, to be like a ragamuffin, to chase after my passions with a wild heart, because I serve a wild God. Recently, the biggest discovery that the Lord has shown to me, is that if I choose to receive and let go, instead of withholding and pulling back, how many more people will He be able to bless through me than when I do not let anything out at all. He is taking me to high places, bringing me closer to his glory, loving me relentlessly. What do you withhold? What are you afraid of? Know that our father is pursuing you right now, that he loves you right now, regardless of past, present, or future. He is burning, waiting for you to help turn embers into flames. Receive the freedom that comes with the truth of who you are in Christ and let your freak flag fly! And glory be to our LORD forever and ever, because he is worthy of our praise!!  

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